“Kabbalah” as mass-media and New Age phenomenon has become a resource for spiritual seekers, entrepreneurs, and many feminists and queers constructing postmodern theologies on the basis of non-normative Western antecedents. Yet theosophical Kabbalah is relentlessly sexist, heteronormative, and homophobic. This paper presents a queer reading of three theosophical Kabbalistic themes on the relationship of masculine and feminine, suggesting that the Kabbalistic use of these categories can productively undermine the very heteronormativity it reinscribes.